Draft 4.3 Assignment

Length	1350 words
Works Cited	8 Items (Minimum), MLA
Due	Tuesday, April 25
Turned in where?	Blackboard (upload file) and the Interactive Web.

For Draft 4.3 revise parts of Draft 4.2 that I have recommended and (maybe) your peers have suggested, expand your Works Cited to at least 8 items in MLA Works Cited format, and increase the draft to 1350 words.

Draft 4.1 was a “brainstorming draft”, and Draft 4.2 was a “structuring draft” for which I have recommended a “problem/causes/solution” pattern of organization. Draft 4.3 is the final draft in your fourth AND LAST essay cycle (Essay Cycle 4) and should be a “clean copy” draft. (Please read the criteria for the clean-copy draft in that link.)

In your fourth AND LAST essay cycle I have asked you to pick a subject from a recent headline in a major newspaper and investigate it. This will allow us to move to a fresh issue of importance and maybe expand the class’ understanding of current events. By this time you should have developed a reasonable way to explore and research important topics in both popular publications and academic databases. This skill, this ability to — on your own — dig more deeply into issues than you may have in the past, will be of considerable value as you pursue a college degree and beyond.

I have graded some of the Draft 4.2’s and found some people writing “reports” rather than “analyses.” There is a difference between a “report” and an “analysis.” A report simply records the elements of a situation; an analysis not only provides the elements of a situation, but attempts to explain how the situation came about, where is the conflict in the situation, and how do the stakeholders defend their positions. WRC 1013 requires the student writer to write an analysis, not a news report.

Everybody who works toward a professional degree needs to know how to (1) discover responsible information on any issue and (2) write intelligently and professionally using that information to engage and inform a knowledgeable reader. This semester we have increased your skills in both areas (and I say “we” because your classmates have helped with their peer reviews and peer editing). Most of you have shown significant progress in researching and writing about matters of societal importance. This progress will only increase in your next semester of writing practice, WRC 1023. Those who have shown the most progress — who have worked the hardest and most conscientiously — will make the better grades, but far more important than the grade you receive is the skill you have put into your brain and into your writing habits. You will, after you have graduated and worked at a college-educated job for a few years, forget what grades you made in which classes, but your abilities will stay with you all your life. You may not remember the classic authors you studied or the biology terms you once memorized, but the writing habits you have gained in our class and will gain in 1023 will be a part of your successful life until you retire.

Think about it.

Here’s some advice:

1. When describing an “increase” of anything, give statistics and corresponding details: who, what, where, when, and why. Better still, make a chart showing the increase over time.
2. Specific details are always better than vague generalities.
3. When comparing two of anything — populations, countries, dates in time, diseases, whatever — give specific statistics: better, make a chart so that the reader can “see” the comparison.
4. When discussing specific laws, give the name and specific background information: who, what, where, when, and why.
5. I WILL BE PLACING A STRONG EMPHASIS ON CORRECT MLA IN-TEXT AND WORKS CITED FORMATTING.

I will attach draft 4.2. This also the feedback the professor left from the previous draft.

Since I use a speech-to-text software program to generate these comments, the program sometimes messes up and you’ll find some strange words and phrases: please ignore these.

I evaluate draft 4.2 on whether you have taken a current news item and cited it from one of the newspapers required, whether you have a strong grip on in-text and works cited citations in MLA format, whether you have a strong first paragraph that engages the reader, and whether you have an engaging approach to the subject at hand. In this draft, I also look for a year Points and Particulars structure. I don’t take off for grammar and usage issues, but I may mark them in highlight, so you should look at your submission for highlights and comments.

MLA in text citations are different from APA in text citations. MLA in text citations normally use the author’s last name and the page number on which you found the information, not the date of the article. If there is no author, then you should use the first three words of the title In quotation marks followed by the page number. If there is no page number, then simply use the author’s last name or the first three words of the article title in quotation marks. The first word of your in-text citation must match the first word in your corresponding works cited entry. The page number, if there is one, is not proceeded by a comma or any punctuation. THE PUNCTUATION AWAYS COMES AFTER THE CITATION, NOT BEFORE IT. This formatting is a very important in this course. Do not use an “&” when you have two or three authors: use “and.” And do not use a”p.” before the page number.

You say that “the act led to greater number of individuals in America that are covered with healthcare,” why not use the data in source it? It’s a significant number, over 20 million people: this would add considerable detail and heft to your draft.

You are confused about the details in the act. The Supreme Court said that states cannot be forced to increase Medicaid using federal money, which is not the same as saying “they cannot be forced to participate in the affordable care act.” Yes, they have to participate in the exchanges, either setting up their own exchanges – as many states did – or relying upon the federal government to set up the exchanges. What the Supreme Court decision said was that the states could not be required to expand Medicaid. This is really important, because Medicaid is a medical insurance lifeline to mostly poor people. Accuracy is very important when you are writing a college paper.

You have a number of awkward phrases and sentences in this draft. I strongly recommend that you read your entire text out loud before you upload it. Your ear will catch what your eyes don’t.

If serious problems with your works cited and with the correspondence between your work cited entries in your in text citations. It seems in some cases you’ve assumed that the writers first name was actually a second writer, which is a serious error. And you did the same thing with the Hall entry, using his first name as a second author. And you did the same with Hacket. At this stage of the semester, these are serious errors. If you want to pass your draft 4.3, you are going to have to use a handbook as you create your in text citations and your works cited citations. There is no way around it.

PLEASE CITE ACCORDING TO MY PROFESSOR. THAT IS WHAT I KEEP LOSING POINTS FOR. HERE IS A VIEDO ON HOW TO CITE PROPERLY.

http://fredkemp.com/kempclass/assign/showvideo.inc.php?fn=31

http://fredkemp.com/kempclass/assign/showvideo.inc.php?fn=33